Module 1
IN THIS LESSON
Explore the hidden patterns from your past that are showing up in the present—with your children.
From Reactivity to Awareness: Begin shifting from autopilot to conscious responding
Reflective Activity: Mapping Your Parenting Blueprint
Inner Child Meditation: Grounding practice to help you nurture your inner child
In this module, we’ll start by exploring your parenting patterns. Imagine parenting as walking along a well-worn path—one often shaped by the experiences of your own childhood. These patterns may mirror the ways you were nurtured, spoken to, or responded to when you were growing up.
Your early relationships with caregivers influence how you feel and respond today. In moments of overwhelm or emotional triggers, your brain doesn’t always stay grounded in the present—it often retrieves old emotional memories and overlays them onto your current interactions with your child. This can result in projection—when your reactions are more rooted in your past than in what's actually happening now. For example, if your child yells in frustration, you might immediately feel disrespected or even threatened. But that reaction may be tied to earlier experiences—perhaps a childhood where raised voices signaled danger, punishment, or emotional turmoil.
So, even though your child may just be expressing big feelings, your nervous system reacts to something deeper: memory. And without realising it, you respond not to your child’s needs—but to your own old wounds.
Awareness is the first step toward meaningful change. When you start to recognize your patterns, you create space to respond to your child’s actual needs—rather than reacting to the noise of old stories playing in your mind.
🖋️ Reflective exercise
Sometimes our reactions to our children have less to do with what they’re doing in the moment and more to do with our own past experiences and unresolved emotions. This unconscious tendency to attribute our own thoughts or emotions to others, is called projection.
For example, imagine your child is crying and asking for your attention. You feel irritated or overwhelmed, wishing they’d just play independently so you could get something done. It might seem like they’re being demanding, and giving you hard time—but in reality, they may simply be showing developmentally normal behavior. They could also be sensing your stress and clinging more in search of reassurance.
I invite you to pause and reflect:
What behaviours do I find most triggering?
What emotions or memories do they stir in me?
Maybe, as a child, expressing your needs or emotions wasn’t safe or welcomed. Perhaps you learned to shut down because showing too much led to being ignored, dismissed, or even punished. So now, when your child displays similar emotions, it doesn’t just feel inconvenient—it feels threatening. It touches something deeper inside you. You might respond with frustration, withdrawal, or detachment—mirroring the way your own parents responded to your needs back then. In this way, your past pain influences how you respond to your child in the present moment.
Awareness is the first step toward change. It opens the door to a more grounded and flexible way of parenting—one where you can truly see and connect with your child as they are, rather than through the lens of your past.
Take your time with this process. There’s no need to rush—be gentle with yourself as you explore these deeper layers.
When you feel ready, we’ll move on to the next part, where you’ll learn how to regulate your emotions and care for yourself in those challenging, emotionally charged moments.
In this module, you’ll learn to pause and reflect on a few key questions:
Where do these patterns come from?
What might you be carrying from your past into the present?
And what is your child truly needing in this moment?
🖋️ Noticing Patterns
Think back to a time when you felt upset with your child. Picture that moment clearly—what was said, how you felt, how your body reacted.
Now gently ask yourself:
Was I reacting to what was really happening in that moment?
Or was something deeper being stirred—something familiar from my own past?
Try writing about it or drawing a simple timeline to mark moments when these old feelings tend to come up. This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about getting curious. By understanding where your reactions come from, you begin to respond with more choice and care—instead of reacting automatically.
Expanding Emotional Awareness
Children are like mirrors, reflecting back our deepest emotions—love, joy, and pride, but also frustration, fear, and sometimes even rage. These reactions aren’t signs that you’re failing; they’re signals highlighting parts of yourself that may still be hurting.
Children reflect the parts of ourselves that need attention, compassion, and healing. Often, our emotional triggers arise from wounds we haven’t yet had the chance to fully understand and mend.
In this module, we’ll start exploring what’s happening inside when we’re triggered—and how to pause, reflect, and respond with intention rather than reacting from past pain. This is the essential first step in shifting from survival mode toward conscious, connected parenting.